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As a new bride I once did something totally irrational and embarrassing. I had thought I would never tell a soul about the experience—except for confessing it to my new husband. But, it perfectly illustrates the message of this devotional and I feel I must admit it.
I once hid from my husband. He had given me no reason to hide. He’d been nothing but loving and kind and we’d had a wonderful start to our new marriage.
But, for some reason I was suddenly overwhelmed by this amazing new intimacy—the sharing of my heart, soul, mind, and body.
We’d been home from our honeymoon for a few weeks and he’d been working. He returned home and called for me as he opened the front door. Usually, I would eagerly respond to his greeting and rush to meet him. But that day I panicked and curled up on the floor in an unused bedroom, ducking behind a large piece of furniture.
Perhaps this series on being the bride of Christ has had a similar affect on you. You know in your head that your groom would never harm you, but still you’re scared. Intimacy is so . . . intimate! Instead of crying out for Jesus to come closer, you’ve ducked your head and hidden behind the closed doors of your heart.
As you curl up, alone and trembling, you wonder if Jesus can be trusted. Other intimate relationships have left your heart wounded and bleeding. Can you really trust the Groom? Is it safe to let Jesus take you to His private place? Can you really tell him your private thoughts and give yourself to him fully?
In the Song of Solomon, the bride begs her groom to take her away to his private quarters. I want to be like her. I want to beg Him for intimacy and fling open the secrets of my soul. But sometimes I’m just incapable of trusting that much.
But the next phrase of the verse brings me hope. It says the KING brings his bride into his chambers. When I read this I got a picture in my mind of the old custom of carrying the bride across the threshold. I could just see Jesus tenderly lift me off my feet and carry me gently into the private place.
I was reminded again that the Christian life is not about me, but HIM. He is the one who does the work. He is the one who is able to take our relationship where He wants it to go. I simply give Him permission and then rest in Him. I allow Him to lead me into intimacy and trust that He will do it at a pace I can handle.
Sometimes it’s not fear that messes with my ability to be intimate with Christ, but my old performance oriented, legalistic self. I forget that my job is to rest and follow and begin working really hard to be intimate. And when I don’t live up to my ideals of seeking intimacy, I get wrapped up in guilt. Guilty people have a hard time letting their Lover romance them.
And so my intimacy with my Lord is blocked because I’m so upset because I’ve failed at my own efforts to enter the private place. My prayer time has been short or non-existent. I haven’t picked up my Bible, or worshipped, or thought of Him much at all. And I’m so disgusted with myself that I can’t hear His loving voice wooing me, calling me to His side.
So, if you, like me, sometimes struggle with this whole idea of intimacy, leave your fear and guilt behind. Simply follow the example of the bride in the Song of Songs and pray, “Sweet Jesus, my groom, draw me near.”
Then, wrap your arms around his neck as he lifts you and begins to walk effortlessly to the private place. Rest your head upon his strong shoulder and feel the tension drain away. Let your Groom lead you into intimacy.
“Kiss me again and again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How fragrant your cologne, and how pleasing your name! No wonder all the young women love you! Take me with you. Come, lets run! Bring me into your bedroom, O my king.” Song of Solomon 1:2-4a (NLT)
“Draw me after you and let us run together! The king has brought me into his chambers.” SOS 1:4c (NASB)
February 6, 2006
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