The Best Man's blank stare
I'll admit it - I did the stare! The first stare was a completely blank stare but even the second was pretty devoid of understanding! To what stare do I refer? It's the one that the Best Man has when he's asked to act in that role.
I've been honoured to be asked twice - once for my brother and once for a good friend I met at university (come to think of it, my brother would have seen a completely different stare if he had asked anyone else other than his big brother!). The Best Man role is an important one, not just because of the honour of being asked but also because of the responsibility.
Take the so-called stag-night. Depending on the "culture" of the wedding - and the groom in particular - these range from a great night out with a group of friends (albeit with a full expectation that some gentle form of embarrassment for the groom is on the cards) to an evening that pushes every possible boundary. The danger, of course, is that the more extreme version goes way over the line. Now THAT is a perfect example of where the best Best Man should know and appreciate his role. The stag night offers the possibility of great memories for all involved but if things get out of hand those memories could be of the worse type. The Best Man is often the ringleader. It is important he gets the balance right.
It's common to see the principle reponsibilities of the Best Man as arranging the aforementioned evening-with-the-boys and delivering a great Best Man's speech. But there is so much more he can do as the wedding day draws closer. There are four main responsibilities and these are covered in our "Best Man Checklist" article. With those responsibilities in mind, there are many little details the Best Man can handle - everything from ensuring the groom actually gets to the wedding (transport) to working with a DJ to make sure things are on track. Check the article for more.
And then there is that Best Man speech. Again, a sense of balance is important here. Yes, it's true that there is an expectation that someone, somewhere is going to have a joke at the grooms expense - the Best Man speech is as good a time as any! But if those jokes go over a line or even offend then the Best Man needs to think about who the speech is for - is he perhaps thinking more about himself and how he comes across. Done right, the Best Man speech gets a few laughs and when he sits down leaves the audience with a collective smile on its face. They know a little more about the groom and are assured that the bride has made a great choice for the man to live with for the rest of her life.
And don't overstretch with the jokes. It irkes me that my brother can walk into a room, tell a joke and have everyone cracking up - while I get a few "whatever" comments whenever I tell a joke! Some do it well, some don't. If you are like me, know the limits of your joke-telling skills. Keep the humour light and reasonably safe. There's not much worse than a Best Man who thinks he's the answer to late night comedy - and falls flat.
To the groom, the Best Man is a vital "supporter". He's shared a lot in the past (that's why he is the Best Man) and now he's sharing his wedding day. There are few deeper honours.
Oh, and as a groom I was honoured to return the favor to my brother a few years later. He made me proud...