Too bad "free love" doesn't entail free wedding celebrations! In my opinion, money is one of the most stressful aspects of planning a wedding. Not only can it cause friction between the couple getting married, but relatives and friends sometimes expect special treatment if they have contributed money to the couple. Demands such as where to hold the reception, or even wanting to exclude a certain person from the guest list aren't unheard of when donations are given. And in-law relations can become touchy if one side feels the other has not contributed enough.
Historically, grooms’ parents have only paid for the rehearsal dinner. This practice stems from times when women were not as valued as men and marriage was more like a business contract. Supposedly men were getting the raw end of the deal so parents had to sweeten the offer. Not only were brides’ parents required to pay all wedding expenses, but they also provided a dowry, which usually consisted of money or high quality goods. Thank goodness for Women’s Lib!
Lucky for brides’ parents though, times have changed. Often the couple pays for most of the wedding with contributions from their parents. Parents who do put in money should not be expected to pay more than they can afford. Keep in mind that if both sets of parents split the cost of the wedding, all their names should appear on the wedding invitation.
Here is a list of what the bride, groom and their parents have traditionally paid for. But remember, this is not set in stone anymore; today this listing is only a guideline.
| Bride/Bride's Family |
Groom/Groom's Family |
| Wedding Trousseau |
Wedding Ring for Bride |
| Wedding Ring for Groom |
Wedding Gift for Bride |
| Wedding Gift for Groom |
Groomsmen/Usher Gifts |
| Bridesmaid Gifts |
Bride's Bouquet |
| Bridesmaid Bouquets |
Mother's Corsages |
| Grandmother Corsages |
Groom's Boutonniere |
| Ceremony/Reception Flowers |
Groomsmen Boutonnieres |
| Alter Baskets/Arches |
Usher's Boutonnieres |
| Canopy/Carpet |
Marriage License |
| Kneeling Bench/Candelabras |
Medical Visit for Groom |
| Rented Items for Wedding |
Clergyman/Officiant Fee |
| Rented Items for Reception |
Groom's Cake |
| Invitations/Announcements |
Rehearsal Dinner |
| Wedding Programs |
Limousine Service |
| Napkins/Matches/Printed Items |
Honeymoon Arrangements |
| Medical Visit for Bride |
|
| Church Fee |
|
| Musician/Soloist |
|
| Reception Hall Fee |
|
| Catered Reception/Professional Services |
|
| Wedding Photography |
|
| Video Photography |
|
| Orchestra/Band/DJ |
|
| Wedding Favors |
|
| Rice Bags |
|
| Bridesmaid Luncheon |
|
| Wedding Breakfast |
|
| Bridal Brunch |
|
Original article by Larissa Doucette.
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