Being happy is not impossible; especially when you are united with the one you love most, in terms of romantic involvement, of course. However, routine, stress at work, small inconveniences regarding money or where to go on vacation may bring sad moments in virtually any couple’s life. Indeed, we have learned since the first moments of our lives that love is everything, and it is practically the answer to any question. Unfortunately, most of us tend to forget this as the years go by…
We are kind of top specialists regarding marriages or relationships, so we believe we can contribute to your marriage with 10 ideas. We’ve initially called them commandments, and we still believe this is the right name; however we’d like you to understand these are not tools for you to use in a fight with your significant other, but a set of good things to know and remember in the difficult moments. The evidence is simple: you’ll have awkward moments, but it is a sign of mature life perspective to take things easy and try to talk and solve them instead of neglecting the evidence.
Before going any further, let us give you our most important spiritual gift: love is everything, but remember one thing: it just cannot exist without forgiveness and compassion.
The 10 commandments for a happy married life:
- Learn to communicate and express your needs; it is absolutely crucial to know how to pinpoint what you need because this is the only chance for the other one to understand and do something about it. You cannot expect him to guess what you want, especially if you haven’t spent a lot of time together. Help him to get to know you. In the meantime, encourage him to express his feelings and needs too. Take the time to listen and deeply understand the need of the one next to you. Don’t be superficial and stop at the surface of things. Scratch until you see the real person with all the fears and needs.
- Put your marriage in the first place. You are not alone anymore, so anything related to your marriage comes first. It may sound a little bit awkward if you are the independent type, but that is a fact. It does not mean you won’t be able to have a night out with the girls, but rather you’ll be more focused on your current life.
- Make your own couple habits like reading together on Sundays, a touch in the morning, a kiss, a phone in the afternoon or anything that can positively contribute to your relationship. Be positive and grateful. Keep being loving and caring even in the hardest moments. The reaction of the other one means something, in most cases a hidden suffering.
- Treat the other one with empathy and understanding. Take time and treat him with attention and patience. Maybe he cannot talk about the issue at that right moment, but he will be at some point. Give him time and space. Show respect to his feelings.
- Keep being romantic. Romance is not for the young ones, in the first years of relationship. No. It’s for all of us, no matter the age. Touch your partner; say beautiful words, show trust, and compassion.
- Make love. Never ever forget about this. Most married couples report their difficulties are due to poor intimacy. We can’t say that is a proven fact, but it certainly affects the life of many couples. It’s absolutely normal for sex to be less spectacular after years spent together; moreover when children are part of the game, however, these are not reasons to delete it from the schedule. Adapt to the current situation and, most important, continue talking and understanding each other’s needs.
- Stop thinking about other possible partners. On one hand, jealousy is poisonous and, on the other hand, adultery is a safe way to divorce and unhappy life. And keep your relationship in the present: don’t blame your partner for the past, for other partners or choices. Remember your purpose here is not to judge but to love.
- Make compromises. It may sound strange, but it’s healthy doing it in your marriage. It shows trust, understanding, and the capacity to take one for the team. It is a sign of acceptance and love. And remember: sometimes it’s better to be happy than right, as being right will give you a momentary peace of mind while happiness will fulfill you entirely.
- Be realistic. We all have flaws, bad moments and bad hair days. All marriages go through challenging times. However, they can help you grow wise. Before criticizing, understand. If we truly understand the other one, we will be able to see ourselves in the other one, and we’ll be able to treat him fair and kind.
- Grow together. People change, beautiful moments sometimes fade away, and difficulties are most of the time easier to remember. This can be a sad scenario. Instead of it, just enjoy the change in you, remember you were young and beautiful and seize the day.
Again, love is everything, but remember one thing: it just cannot exist without forgiveness and compassion.