A tough choice
Choosing can be a difficult task so, at first glance, the easiest solution seems to be not choosing at all. This way, no one’s feelings get hurt. But then again, this arrangement can make for a confusing day and cause potential problems. Simply put, I would advise against having two Best Men at the wedding. However, it is the bride and groom’s day, so what they decide is law. However, the groom should think over the situation carefully before going ahead with the split responsibility.
Of course the Best Men may be grateful that duties are being split because it lessens their load, however, there are certain duties that both men may want to perform and you will be right back where you started – not wanting to hurt a friend’s feelings. This situation will most likely be associated with tasks related to the actual wedding ceremony.
Escorting the bridesmaids
First, if the groomsmen are escorting the bridesmaids all the way up the aisle, which best man will precede the bride? This situation can be alleviated by having the groomsmen stand at the alter with the groom.
Then comes the ring. It is up to the Best Man to hold the ring for the groom. At the time of the ring exchange the groomsman will hand over the ring. Integrating a ring-bearer into the ceremony may not necessarily alleviate this situation depending on how young the child is. Often it is best not entrust wedding bands to be transported by a young child.
Signing the wedding certificate
The groom must also choose which man will sign the wedding certificate. Only two witnesses are allowed to sign the certificate and those are the Maid of Honor and the Best Man.
Here are some guidelines to help the Best Man to be. Please remember, these are just some of the standard duties. You may be asked to help in other ways, you may be asked to simply offer moral support…
- Arrange for a bachelor party; whether it is a dinner, a weekend, or a wild night out, you are responsible for arranging the plans as well as the guests
- Help the groom with the formalwear arrangements. What size does everyone need, where can you pick it all up, etc.
- Keep the bride’s ring until the ceremony
- Ensure the groom’s timely arrival at the ceremony
- Offer to arrange payment for the officiant
- Offer to arrange payment for the transportation company
- Offer the first toast to the couple. Make it flattering to the bride, romantic, and witty!
- Offer to help in any other way. Calm anyone who seems stressed
- Arrange the bride and groom’s departure. Make sure it goes smoothly
- Offer to return the groom’s formalwear if necessary
- Deliver a message to the bride’s parents from the newlyweds thanking them for the fantastic celebration