I committed the penultimate social blunder of generally accepted wedding guest etiquette this past weekend. Yes, I was a no-show (which I believe still puts me one guilty step ahead of those who attended but wore white). In my defense, I simply wasn’t feeling good. Death isn’t usually a welcome guest at a wedding, and I believe I may have resembled his little sister on Saturday. The bride probably doesn’t even realize I was actually doing her a favor by staying home.
Wedding Guest No-Shows
Fiance dutifully attended and represented us both well, which will benefit him karmically down the road I’m sure (bonus points for him if he actually took my place in the pack for the bouquet toss). I’ll never know what it’s like attending a wedding as a single male, but I imagine it’s challenging.
Now that I’m fit to sit upright, I believe it was very fortunate that I was not someone of any significance for this 09-10-11 wedding. As my own wedding doesn’t occur on one of these lucky days, I’ll need some proper planning to help ward off germs for my special day. That means putting myself, Fiance, our wedding party, parents, officiant, and caterer on a strict regimen of echinacea, vitamin C, Airborne, preemptive antibiotics, and an apple a day. I’m sure it would behoove us to stay away from small children during this time. I’m thinking requiring everyone to reside in a plastic sterilized bubble for the 30 days prior to the wedding wouldn’t be too unreasonable.
In fact, why stop at those that have a role to play on our day? Has there been any precedent set for sending echinacea and vitamin C in lieu of invitations to potential guests?
I’m hopeful that some of the healthier behaviors I’m embarking on to help slim down might provide an extra shield in my overall anti-disease security plan. I’m happy to report I’ve got a streak going – sort of – two days in a row to the gym at five-thirty AM, and feeling great, if not slightly red-eyed. Early to bed, early to rise…
Which reminds me, I’ll need to add 5:30 am wake-up calls to those on my patented pre-wedding health plan.