Planning your wedding is one of the most important and enjoyable things you will ever do. It’s also one of the most stressful. Most couples realize a few days after the engagement that stress has affected them already. This overwhelming feeling we all experience is only human and sometimes necessary in order to achieve success. Why do we have to stress over what will be the happiest days of our lives? Planning for a wedding – whether the date is in a few days, months or even years – should be a bonding experience with your spouse. This does not, in itself, mean stress. But stress happens! This very humanistic feeling is surprisingly avoidable. Here are some ways you can hopefully, well, calm down a little.

A common mistake woman make before the wedding is to only talk about our wedding! Your man loves you and he’s pretty sure he wants to marry you. But it’s doubtful he has strong opinions on the “little girly things” we’ve been waiting our whole lives to plan. For example, flowers! We love flowers. Men don’t, generally. Many men see flowers as a good way to apologize to you. Another example is the color of your bridesmaid dresses. He is excited – but again doesn’t care too much. Talk to your man about food. Yeah, that’s a good one. Maybe give him hints on what you’ll be wearing under your wedding dress. Spend time together, keep busy and remember that your relationship is more than just planning a wedding.

Stress can manifest itself in many ways. It can take it’s toll on more than just your mind. One or two days before your wedding you and your spouse should find a local hotel or spa and spend an hour in the sauna. After, you should have a cold shower. The heat from a sauna will open your pores, helping detoxify your skin. Not only does the heat create a beautiful complexion but the feeling you experience post-sauna will positively impact your mood. The important part of going to the sauna is actually what you do after. The cold shower is key. Cold water closes your pores and helps make your skin softer. Some things to remember before going into a sauna: drink lots of water, wear as little clothing as possible and don’t stay in there for too long!

If you have a lot of time to plan your wedding it is easy to put things off. Making sure everything is planned, booked and ready to go gives you less things to worry about. Reading your vows is an important part of the ceremony. You are talking to the person you will be with for the rest of your life. Get it right. Writing vows is not something you want to do the morning of your big day! Instead of sitting down in one day and writing your vows, maybe keep a little journal about how you feel about him. Write down the things you love. Not just the fact that he has great hair and a sense of style, but the little things that only you see. These can provide inspiration for your vows.

Planning a wedding can be a big venture. Don’t feel the need to tackle it on your own. Take all the help you can get. If you can hire a wedding coordinator great! If not, ask friends and family to help. Shortly after you have plans to get married sit down with your partner and write down everything you need to get planned and split the list in half or as evenly as possible. Let him take the things that he truly values or finds exciting. Once you have your list, write down dates by which you want everything to be planned. Writing plans down dramatically increase the chances of the task being completed.

Stress is always a part of planning a wedding. You can’t rid yourself of stress – at the right level it’s a positive driving force. Take small, considered steps to manage your stress and your wedding will be a day to remember. Regardless of stress.